by Oh. It felt like Christmas, it surely did. All the night before … stockings were hung and the dreaming had commenced. And we were steeping in delicious torment wondering what might be under the tree in the morning! What would I find in my stocking, tucked beneath the orange, the tasteless apple, and the walnuts still in their impenetrable shells.
We always opened our presents on Christmas morning so we had a whole night to dream. To imagine an infinite variety of possibilities. And with each imagining those wonders were mine, if only for the time I held them in my mind.
And so it was when I received the email from that great and mighty bookstore. You know the one.
Your $(giant amount) Settlement Credit is Waiting
You have an eBook Settlement credit in your [Great and Mighty Bookstore’s name] Account, but you will lose it if you do not make a purchase. Spend it today on that new bestseller you’ve been wanting to read — or discover millions [yes, they said millions] of more titles [yes, they said “of more titles”] on [Giant Bookstores’ initials.com]
[pictures of three books to die for]
SPEND IT NOW
I dreamed of all the books I’d buy with my waiting credit. The millions of titles I wanted. Even blank books! Oh, yes. I was heady with the power of my waiting credit. I couldn’t get to the bookstore fast enough.
No, really, I couldn’t. I didn’t. Thank goodness.
I received a second email from Giant Bookstore.
Dear Dona (more personal this time),
We are sorry! (not flamboyantly centered now, just rapidly typed, I had to appreciate that) We mistakenly sent you an email, on [date], advising you there was [blah, blah, blah] ebook Settlement Credit. This email was sent to you due to a system error. [Ah, I get it now, “the system” sent me that first email, scary, huh? Now a nice employee, calling me by name is following up, cleaning up after “the system,” making things right. Whew.] Please disregard and we apologize for any confusion or inconvenience this may have caused.
We look forward to your next visit to [Giant Bookstore].
Hey, no problem. Life has taught me that sometimes the anticipation, the dreams, beats the reality anyway. And where else am I gonna go to smell new books.
Hoping to see you soon, Great and Mighty Bookstore!
What a letdown! You took it well–I would have been mad.
All earlier drafts have been shredded. [I was kicked out of Powell’s once, I’m not looking for a repeat.]